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In The Event Of Disruptions & Conflicts

Emphatic Reactions

Empathic Reactions

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In the context of home-school, conversations are often emotionally charged for those who are involved.


Because the parents and the teachers are both dealing with important and sometimes difficult topics. For example, parents need to deal with the fear that their own parenting style will be questioned, etc. and teachers deal with the fear that their own teaching style and their own personality will be judged which are often vulnerable points. Therefore it is important to keep checking your own basic attitudes (see basic attidudes) and, if necessary, to bring yourself back to an I'm okay, you're okay position. It also helps to understand the other person and their motives in the event of disruptions and conflicts.

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Empathic reactions are a very good tool for bringing the conversation back into productive waters.

The empathic response helps to open the conversational partner and to make him or her feel understood and this helps to prevent or solve conflicts. Therefore I empathize with the other person, trying to empathize with what she is experiencing emotionally, what the world looks like in her situation, what has an emotional meaning for the person right now, how she experiences me, how she experiences herself. I approve of all their feelings without evaluation, I also try to sense and understand subliminal feelings and I mediate that they may be there. I express these feelings, motives and thoughts in words and express them as what I understand at the moment of the other person.

Aids for Emphatic Reactions

Aids for Empathic Reactions

In addition to the exercise before you are now allowed to say more :)

Please use Empathic Reactions (see above) to the uttering of your partner in order to make him or her feel understood. Try to read between the lines and speak out what you understand is the real message of your partner. The aim is that your partner feels understood and respected.

The following aids help you to form sentences:



Speak short sentences (without subclauses)



Don’t bring up feelings, motivation, or even a cognition.



Don´t try to find reasons for their feelings (You´re feeling that, because….)



For longer statements with multiple feelings/ cognitions refer to the latter feeling/ cognition (don´t form the checksum). 



Don´t use filling words (also, but,...)



Slightly raise your voice in the end of a sentence like a question.



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Work with your partner about 7 min.

  • Find a partner.

  • Think about a problem that is happening in your life (nothing hard to deal with though).

  • Tell your partner about the problem for seven minutes.

  • Your partner has to show empathic reactions if possible. He shall try to verbalize the hidden message from you.

  • Talk about it together. What did you feel as a listener? What did you feel as a talker?

  • Swap roles and do it again.

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